If I never really knew God before, I certainly have a deeper understanding of him now.  I have a huge fear of flying, it’s been with me for about 12 years ever since I experienced one bad (and I mean bad) flight.  I swore I’d never put myself in that position again, I would keep my feet firmly planted on God’s green earth and that would be the end of it.

I was observed once by a class studying various counselling techniques.  When they started asking me about flying it sent me into panic mode.  Apparently my breathing became very rapid, my eyes repeatedly flared and my fingers and hands were being manipulated to where even a contortionist would be proud to say they could do such things.  I remember thinking it was very hot in that classroom.  This fear of flying had truly gripped me and was all consuming.

In my first year of study I heard that the students might be going on an Outreach Week trip to Fiji.  At first I was adamant that I would quit the school before going up in an airplane again.

As the time for Outreach Week 2008 approached it seemed Fiji was in every conversation but mine.  I actually started contemplating going.  So over the next few months I began consciously psyching myself with “you can do it”.

Well, to cut a long story short I got to the airport with a smile on my face, made it all the way to where the arm goes out to meet the plane and stopped.  Through a small window on that arm I saw that big beast waiting quietly and patiently.  All those ugly, terrifying feelings came flooding back.  The smile was quickly replaced by that all-consuming fear that was loud in my mind and body.  I was angry with myself for letting it in but, at the same time, I was so scared I couldn’t control it, or me or anything.  I wanted to turn around and run back the way I had come.  I did turn to go back, but then out of no-where, the voice in my head spoke to me (come on admit it you know you have one too) and I heard these words:  “Be still and know that I am God”

I stood still for what seemed like forever.  I turned back and walked on the plane trusting in those words and from whom they came, hanging on to them with every inch of my being.  I’m embarrassed to say that I blubbered the whole way there and jumped at every little bump, but with those very powerful words spoken to me by our Father and the support of my awesome class mates (who are my family through Christ) I was able to make it through.

I’m so grateful this happened otherwise I would have missed out on watching God’s work and joining Him in His work to gather in a country whose people are crying out for Him.  We joined with the Nadera and Capital City Churches of Christ and our mission was to “go and make disciples of all nations” Matt 28:19.  We prayed and asked God to send his people to us or bring us to them.  He is a mighty God indeed, He sent us 432 people who were eager to sign up and study about Him.  I even had people repeat back to me the exact words of my prayer: “Yes, I need to know and learn more about God.” These people have an amazing capacity to love and I was humbled by everything I experienced on this trip.  Their hospitality, giving, fellowship, singing, praising and loving of God are something to behold.  I will treasure it always.

As for being cured of the fear of flying well, it’s going to take more than a couple of good flights but the flight home wasn’t half as bad.  I was still nervous as we came into the Auckland airport but I very quickly went into prayer mode and asked God to make it smooth (just between you and I – I told him that I would never fly again if it was a horrible landing) and then I hardly felt a thing when we landed.  So, I’m guessing with that answer God might have me travelling again.